there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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