at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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