i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
