if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
So much Jack, so little girl.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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