hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
