This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
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she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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