Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
