Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
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