I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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