Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
