i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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