youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
We're too hungover to prance.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
