Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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