i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
