She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
