She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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