haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
