So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
