I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
