He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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