whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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