hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
