She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
