Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
