can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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