Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
It's blow job season.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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