I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
