dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
