How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i permit you to call me
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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