I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
