ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
