U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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