what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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