There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
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i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
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she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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