Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i barfeds in our rink
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
