People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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