just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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