I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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