And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
