There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i will never coherently bang her
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
