i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
