I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
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