Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Randomize
