Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
