Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
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