he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize