She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
We had sex on a dog bed..
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
