FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize