My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
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Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
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My bed is full of blood and feathers
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
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