one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Randomize
