I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
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