Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize