Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
