Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
