Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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