My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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