It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
