Tell her she can't have a vagina
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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