I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
We're using joints as your birthday candles
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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