I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Rumble strips road head = magical
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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