Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
