just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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